


Damaged

by omalleyanatomy26



Category: Queer as Folk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-24
Packaged: 2014-12-20 06:12:49
Rating: T
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,198
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6893705/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1048002/omalleyanatomy26
Summary: Set in the begining of season 3.Ethan becomes violent  and abusive. Justin tries to keep it a secret. But then Michael and Debbie find out. Will they be able to help Justin before it's too late?





	1. Chapter 1

**Please review!**

The first time Ethan had hit Justin it was in a moment of heated argument about Brian. Afterwards Justin started to see the more violent side of Ethan. Ethan was smart, though. When he would hit Justin he'd make sure not to hit him in the face, but in the arms and chest and ribs. He knew what Justin's friends would do if they ever found out. Justin was too scared to tell anyone, even though he knew Brian would beat the shit out of Ethan. But a part of him felt like he deserved it. That this was his punishment for breaking up with Brian and now he had to live with that choice. He was determined to hide it, to keep it a secret. He knew Brian would flip out if he ever found out but he was scared at what Ethan would do to Brian. Ethan often threatened the safety of his friends. The idea of them being hurt because of him terrified him. He'd rather Ethan take it out on him than them any day of the week.

He had gotten used to the blows. They still hurt but the pain was so constant he didn't feel it as much. And lately he had stopped trying to defend himself. Defending himself, fighting back, only made it worse. Ethan had once gotten carried away and hit him across the cheek, causing a cut to appear on his lower lip from Ethan's ring. Justin had to tell Debbie he had ran into a wall. And that was a little too close.

It really only happened when Ethan was drunk, which was fairly often. And the other times it would happen if Justin dared to mention Brian. Ethan detested, no _loathed_, just hearing his name. Justin would sometimes forget but Ethan always reminded him. Lately Justin was forgetting less and less. Ethan also didn't like him talking about the gang either. He used them as ways to get Justin to do what he wanted. Justin shuddered when he threatened Debbie's life, as well as Melanie and Lindsay's, and Vic's. Emmett's and Ted's life had also been threatened through a slurred speech. Ethan once mentioned Gus which got Justin to swing back at him. The idea of that sick bastard going anywhere near an innocent child made Justin want to hurl. But that was a mistake. Ethan had twisted his arm so much it almost broke it. Instead his wrist was sprained. He had taken a couple of weeks off work, saying he was sick in order to hide it.

During the next few months Justin became sullen, and even more withdrawn. He kept his head down most of the time and mumbled his responses as if they weren't important. Debbie was really starting to worry.

"Have you noticed anything strange about Sunshine?" She asked as she went to get the gang's orders.

"Who cares about him?" Michael muttered, still furious that Justin picked Ethan over Brian. Furious that Brian had gotten hurt. His mother hit him along the head.

"What the hell was that for?" He cried out.

"Give the kid a fucking break, he's not perfect!" She snapped. "Brian's far from an angel himself and you're always fucking defending him. Yet you won't get Justin the time of day."

Michael cast his eyes to the ground, feeling a wave of shame. His mother had that ability. There was some truth of what she said.

The others looked away, unsure of how to participate.

"I'm really worried about the kid," Debbie added.

"Worried?" Lindsay asked. "What do you mean by worried?"

"He's so withdrawn now-"

"He's probably just afraid to speak to us, "Emmett commented.

"Yeah," Melanie agreed. "Especially after what Michael had said to him."

Michael glared at her.

"No it's more than that," Debbie insisted. "He mumbles his responses to me and never makes eye contact. It's like he's become really shy, but Justin's not shy…I don't know…I just have a feeling this Ethan kid has something to do with it and I don't like it-not one bit."

"You're really worried about him, aren't you?" Ted asked quietly and Debbie nodded.

"I can barely get a word out of him and he flinches whenever I touch him, like I'm about to hit him or something…he's acting…"she bit his lip and Michael straightened up when he saw the look on her face. Even he was beginning to worry.

"He's what, mom?"

"He's acting like some people act in an abusive relationship," she finally finished and the others gasped.

"You…think Ethan's hitting Justin?" Melanie asked sharply.

"I…I don't know," stammered Debbie. "I don't know if it's verbal abuse, or physical, or no abuse…but something's wrong with Sunshine…he never smiles now. And just how scared he acts all the time…"

"If Ethan's abusing Justin…"Lindsay's voice trailed off . "We have to be sure of this, first, Debbie. We can't just go around accusing Ethan like that."

"I agree," Michael said. "But if he is being abused we do have to do something about it before it's too late."

The others looked at him in surprise.

"What? I maybe angry at the kid but I wouldn't wish this on him, I'm not that heartless," Michael retorted and Debbie quickly kissed him on the forehead.

"What was that for?"

"For being you," she sniffed.

He sighed and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to Justin, what do you think?"

Michael followed Justin to the alley as Justin took out the garbage. As angry as he was at the kid the idea of someone hurting Justin made Michael sick to his stomach.

Justin turned, looked at him in surprise, and instantly cast his eyes to the ground. Almost as if he was afraid to look at Michael.

"What do you want?" He mumbled.

Michael sighed.

"I just wanted to make sure that…you're okay."

Justin did a double take and looked up before looking back down.

"Why do you give a fuck? Last time you came to me out here you told me to disappear."

Michael flinched at that reminder.

"That was really wrong of me, Justin. I was angry and upset and when people are upset they say irrational things. Things they don't mean…"

"Just back the fuck off okay!" Justin's voice rose. "You got what you wanted, I'm out of the way. Soon I won't be working here and I'm not hurting Brian so just leave me the fuck alone, okay?"

Michael was stunned by Justin's outburst. He was beginning to think Debbie was right, something was seriously wrong with Justin. He grabbed Justin's arm as Justin brushed by him. Justin winced at the touch and twisted it away. As he did the sleeve rolled up and Michael saw bruises on the side of Justin's arms.

He stared at the bruises in shock. Shit, his mom was right about Ethan. His stomach flip flopped. Justin stood, frozen in fear as he realized what Michael saw.

"Justin…"

"P…please don't say anything," begged Justin. It killed Michael to hear how terrified Justin sounded. "Especially to Debbie."

"You know I can't do that. Mom would kill me if I knew and didn't tell anyone. So would Brian." Michael's voice shook. His heart went out to the kid. He decided to take it once step at a time.

"How bad is it?"

Justin shook his head.

"He doesn't mean it," he mumbled. "He just…gets angry sometimes…and drunk. I provoke him."

Michael closed his eyes. Jesus Christ, Justin's trying to DEFEND Ethan now?

"No…Justin he does mean it, Jesus, I can't believe you're actually defending him..I can't let you go back to him-knowing what he's doing to you-"

"DON'T say anything!" Justin's voice rose. "He…you don't know what he's capable of."

Michael stared at him.

"What do you mean, Justin?"

Justin shook his head.

"N…nothing, just don't say anything PLEASE."

Michael was torn at the desperate plea in Justin's voice but he couldn't forget those bruises on Justin's arm..

"How bad is it?" He repeated himself. Justin swallowed.

"It's…not bad," he lied. He was always a terrible liar. Michael grabbed him by the wrist, causing Justin to gasp more out of instinct than anything else. Quickly Michael lifted Justin's shirt and it was his turn to gasp. Purple bruises were across his chest and ribs.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he muttered. Justin tried to twist away, his face flushed.

"Oh my God!" Debbie's voice was in the background. Both turned sharply. Justin's eyes got wide when they saw Debbie standing there, her mouth open.

"Mom!" Michael said quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check to see if everything is all right, I can tell that it's not…"

Justin's breathing quickened.

"Please…Deb…don't tell Brian…or anyone…"

"The fuck I won't! Michael did you see those bruises?"

"Yeah, I saw mom." Michael's own voice shook.

Debbie had tears rolling down her face. The idea of someone hurting sweet Sunshine like that…it was enough to make her sick to her stomach.

"I'm calling the cops," she said quickly. "I'm calling Carl-"

"Don't!" Justin's voice rose. "Please…don't call anyone…"

"He has to be arrested for domestic violence!"

"The judges won't care!" Justin shot back. "You saw what happened to Hobbes….they'll just let Ethan go and he'll be even more furious than before…"They watched as he shuddered at the thought.

"Well you're not going back to that bastard," Debbie said with a growl.

"Where am I supposed to go?" Justin challenged.

"With me."

"Forget it! If Ethan tried to find me and hurt you or Vic…I'd never forgive myself!"

"He'll stay with me and Ben," Michael decided. "And Emmett… It's just a couch, but it'll do."

Justin swallowed. The thought of leaving Ethan scared the shit out of him but he knew Debbie, especially, wouldn't let him go back. Even if she had to handcuff him.

"I thought you hated me," Justin finally mumbled, and casted his eyes towards the ground. Michael shook his head. He really had been an asshole to Justin and now he felt guilty about it.

"I don't hate you, Justin…I was angry at the idea of Brian being hurt and I was irrational about it…and I'm sorry…I really don't hate you."

"When Michael apologizes he always means it," Debbie added firmly. Justin kept his eyes lowered.

"Justin…"Michael grabbed his arm and Justin flinched and jerked away. It broke both their hearts to see Justin so timid. So shy and scared of everything.

"Justin please…come with me. Leave while you still can."

Justin sniffed as he thought of Ethan hunting him.

"I can't," he whispered.

"You can," Michael assured him softly.

"But what…if he hurts you? Or Ben or Emmett?"

"We can take care of ourselves…Justin."

"What if he goes after the others? Like Mel and Lindsay? To get back at me?"

"Sunshine, you're just making excuses up so you don't have to go. You're terrified of leaving him, I get that," Debbie said quietly, as she tried to control her voice. "But you have to leave now! While you still can. If you went back to him and you were killed…I'd never forgive myself. If you can't leave for yourself…please leave for us. Let US help you. Please."

Justin swallowed and slowly nodded, wanting desperately to escape the clutches of Ethan-but terrified to do so. He slowly walked back in the diner with Debbie and Michael, praying that Ethan wouldn't hunt him down. That he'd be safe, but he sincerely doubted it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! **

Michael and Debbie decided that Justin would go to the front through the alley. They didn't want the gang surrounding Justin with questions. Debbie went inside. She would have to pretend everything was fine as she told Emmett that Micheal wanted to talk to him in private outside. The others noticed the oddness in this but decided not to say anything about it.

Emmett ducked outside and saw Michael standing next to Justin.

"What's going on?" He asked curiosity growing larger. He knew how pissed Michael was at Justin, Micheal didn't exactly keep it a secret.

"Justin's staying at our place," Michael told him, which shocked Emmett even more.

"What...why?" He glanced at Justin who kept his head down. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" Michael sighed.

"You might as well show him, Justin. He's going to find out sooner or later."

"Find out what?" Emmett asked. Justin swallowed.

"Please don't tell the others," Justin begged in a timid tone. A tone Emmett never heard Justin use. Emmett didn't like that tone, not at all.

"Don't... tell the others what?" Emmett frowned. Then his eyes widened and he gasped when Justin slowly lifted his shirt to reveal the bruises.

"Oh my God..." He couldn't stop staring at them, there were so many. He noticed how Justin was shaking too when he lowered his shirt.

"They're on his arms too," said Michael grimly. He glanced at Justin. "And his legs, I presume." Justin didn't deny that part.

"I...did...Ethan do this?" Emmett asked tearfully. He couldn't imagine someone like Sunshine going through something so horrible. He couldn't imagine anyone going through something like this. Justin didn't answer.

"Yes," said Michael for him. "He admitted it to me and mom." Justin kept his head cast down, almost as if he was afraid to look Emmett in they eye. Emmett placed his hand over his mouth. He hated seeing how reserved Justin had become. How shy and timid he seemed. He wished he had noticed these signs earlier, like Debbie did. He realized he hadn't seen Justin smile or laugh within the last month. Anger filled him, anger towards Ethatn. No, it was more like rage. He wanted to kill that sick bastard for doing something like this to Justin.

"Emmett?" Michael asked softly.

"Does...Brian know?" Emmett finally asked and Justin's eyes widened.

"PLEASE, don't tell Brian!"

"Justin, Brian would KILL us if we kept this from him," Michael said sadly. "And...honestly so would Lindsay, Melanie,Ted, Ben, and Vic. They all care very deeply about you...if they found out we helped keep this from them...they'd never trust us again. Besides, they deserve to know."

Justin shook his head.

"Brian would lose it...he'd try and go after Ethan..."His voice shook.

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing," Emmett said and Michael nodded.

"After what he did to you-"

"Don't you get it?" Justin shouted. "If Brian beats the shit out of him or worse...loses it completly and does kill him he could get into HUGE trouble. We're talking jailtime-for life."

That silenced both Micheal and Emmett.

"I don't think Brian would kill him, though," Emmett said softly. He couldn't imagine Brian taking a life-ever. Niether could Michael.

"Maybe not on purpose," said Justin. "But you've said it yourself Michael, when Brian gets super angry, like REALLY angry, he becomes like a wild animal-right? If he loses control and doesn't stop with the beating..."He swallowed. "And even if he stops they'll still arrest him for beating the shit out of Ethan."

"Even though Hobbes was able to bash you in the head and get away with it," Emmett muttered and Justin nodded slowly.

Michael cloesd his eyes. He could see Justin's point...but how the fuck was he supposed to keep this from Brian."

"Maybe if we made him promise not to lose his cool-"

"Bullshit, Michael, when have we ever been able to control Brian?" Justin was scared now. Really scared. This is why he didn't want them to know. Why he didn't want Brian to know. He didn't want to have to worry about Brian's safety...about him going to jail and especially the idea of Ethan fighting back and hurting Brian. He didn't want Brian's future destroyed because of him.

Emmett closed his eyes. What the hell were they supposed to do? Keep this from Brian forever? Could they really do that? Could they keep it from the others as well?

"Justin...I don't think I could lie to them," he said softly and tears fell from Justin's eyes.

"P...please...Emmett..."

"Come on,"Michael mumbled as he noticed people giving them odd looks. "Let's go to the comic store, for privacy." Emmett nodded.

"I'll just grab my jacket and tell everyone you wanted to run some errands with me," he decided.

"And if they ask what kind of errands?" Justin asked, arms folded, and Emmett shrugged.

"I'll improvise."

He went back into the diner. Michael stared at Justin.

"Sooner or later they will have to find out."

"I know...I just...not now okay?" Justin whispered. Michael nodded and touched Justin's shoulder. Justin jerked it away and Michael jerked his arm away, angry at himself.

"Sorry,"mumbled Justin. Michael shook his head.

"Don't be," he whispered. Emmett finally ducked back out of the diner.

"That was harder than I thought, but I used your mom's birthday as an excuse."

Michael's eyes widened.

"Oh crap, I almost forgot...it's in a couple of weeks...with everything that's been happening-good excuse Emmett."

Emmett smiled, but his smile faded at Justin's timid look.

"Come on,"he sighed.

"Wait, what did you say about me? Cause I never came back in the diner-"Justin finally said.

"Debbie told them you suddenly got sick and was throwing up in the alley and had to go home," said Emmett quickly and slowly Justin nodded. They walked quickly to the comic store. Michael locked the door. Justin sighed as he sank into a chair. Michael and Emmett saw how miserable he looked.

"What am I going to do?" Justin maoned.

"We've already decided you'll stay with me and Emmett-if that's all right with you," Michael said to Emmett quickly. Emmett nodded.

Justin nodded.

"And when Ethan comes looking for me?"

"We'll be ready," Emmett said firmly.

"That's als why we should tell the others," added Michael. "So when he does come around looking for you they know not to say anything."

Justin swallowed. Michael had a point. He really couldn't keep it a secret from them.

"Okay," he whispered. "Just...not tonight, okay?"

"Okay sweetie," said Emmett as he rubbed Justin's shoulder, or tried to. Justin jerked quickly away. Mchael shook his head at Emmett.

"Same thing happened to me," he whispered.

"Right." mumbled Emmett, feeling guilt.

"Let's get you back to our place," said Michael suddenly. When he turned, though, he saw tears stream down Justin's face.

"Justin?" He knelt next to the kid.

"I just want it to be over," Justin started to sob. Emmett placed his hand over his mouth, his heart going out for the young man. "I just want to stop being scared...all the time."

"You will," Michael answered. "And we'll help you, we'll protect you and keep you safe. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

Justin nodded and continued to sob. Slowly Micheal reached out again but this time Justin didn't jerk back. Tendrly Michael wrapped his arms around the kid and held him as Justin allowed himself to be touched as he sobbed onto Michael's shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews! **

It was nighttime. Justin was curled up on the couch. He had woken twice, shouting out in fear. Michael and Emmett both rushed towards him.

"I want to go over and choke the life out of Ethan," mumbled Michael when Justin woke for the 6th time as they headed to the kitchen.

Emmett sighed.

"I know what you mean," he muttered. He felt heated anger every time he thought of Ethan. Michael shook his head.

"What do we do?" He whispered. "I mean Brian HAS to know, he deserves to know but Justin is right. Brian can lose it and what if he goes too far with Ethan and gets into trouble?"

Emmett rubbed his forehead.

"I don't know," he said honestly, and helplessly. Michael sighed.

"I just wished that the others knew," he muttered and Emmett nodded.

"Me too."

* * *

><p>Justin tried to fall asleep after one of his nightmares. He couldn't stop picturing Ethan's cold eyes. And his hands clutching Justin's arm, causing it to bruise.<p>

He remembered the first time Ethan had raped him. He made sure to leave that part out. He knew Michael, Emmett and Debbie wouldn't listen to him. That they'd call the cops, or worse-call Brian.

The first time horrified him, and made him sick to his stomach. He tried to fight Ethan, But Ethan was stronger than he was and pinned him down. When the struggling became too annoying for Ethan he pressed a knife against Justin's throat and threatened the lives of his friends if he continued.

After that Justin didn't protest when Ethan wanted to fuck and he didn't. He just laid there and took it because there was no other choice. And because a part of him felt like he deserved it. That this was part of his punishment for breaking up with Brian, and for cheating on him.

His mind snapped back to the present when he heard Michael mention Brian's name, and how he wanted to tell him.

His breathing got worse. He couldn't have Brian know. The others, maybe, but _not _Brian.

Justin knew what he had to do, then. He had to leave. He waited for them to go back to bed before grabbing his jacket. He didn't know where he was going to go, but this wasn't their fight. It wasn't their probem.

Before he left, though, he paused to scribble something on some paper. He figured they had a right that at least. With tears in his eyes he closed the door and left safety behind him.

Slowly he walked out into the cold bitter night. He tucked his hands into his pockets and ventured out into the darkness. He felt emotions twisting inside of him, giving him a stomach ache. Slowly he sank on the side of one of the buildings. The overwhelming sense of helplessness had consumed him in those moments. He felt so lost, so confused, so uncertain.

"Justin?" A voice appeared from no where. He jumped and looked up. Brian was looking down at him, a look of concern painting on his face. Shit, shit, shit. What the fuck was Brian doing here?

"What..are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing..."Brian's voice trailed off and Justin could hear the worry in it. "Why ARE you here?"

Justin stood up.

"No reason,"he mumbled and quickly started to walk away.

"Justin!" Brian's voice was sharp and it had a don't fuck with me tone to it.

Justin stood frozen. He especially didn't want Brian to find out like this.

"Why the fuck are you over here, and at this time of the night?" Brian asked as he walked up to Justin.

"Who are you? My father?" Justin shot back.

"No, I'm a person that actually gives a shirt about you, now why the fuck are you here?" Brian repeated himself.

Justin swallowed.

"I came by to give Michael some drawings for Rage," he rose his eyesbrows.

"At 3:00 am?"

"What are you doing out so late?" Justin shot back.

"I was at Babylon, and don't change the subject-why are you REALLY here?" Brian demanded.

Justin swallowed.

"None of your buisness." Fear filled him. Brian COULDN'T find out, he just couldn't.

Brian was getting scared. He didn't like seeing that dead look in Justin's eyes. He didn't like Justin being alone at night like this, huddled in some corner.

"Justin!" They heard Michael's voice in the distance. Justin closed his eyes. Fuck!

"What the fuck do you think you were doing?" Michael demanded as he caught up to him." Michael froze when he saw Brian standing there. Emmett was running towards them as well.

Justin swallowed. He didn't think Michael would find the note right away.

Brian stared at Michael and Emmett's frozen expression of dread on their faces and watched Justin's own pained look.

"All right, someone mind telling me what the FUCK is going on? And don't say nothing because I know that is bullshit." Brian was begining to worry. Michael and Emmett were in on it? They knew something he didn't, that was for sure. And he couldn't get over the look in Justin's eyes. The look of death almost. The look of pain.

Michael sighed and opened his mouth.

"Michael!" Justin's voice was a scared plea. Brian didn't like that tone at all.

"Justin, we have to tell him."

"Tell me what?" Brian hated being left out when it involved someone he cared about. He could tell Justin aws hurting, and scared, and he didn't know why.

Justin was shaking now, really shaking. Shit, Brian was about to find ...things were about to become chaotic.

He let a tear roll down his cheek. He saw the shocked look on Brian's face when he saw that tear. Justin turned away.

"Come on," Emmett mumbled softly. "Let's go back inside and tell him."

Justin knew he was defeated and had lost this battle. Exhausted his shoulders sank as he gave up and nodded. Panic filled Brian as he saw the look on defeat on Justin's face. He followed the three of them as he tried to figure out what was going on.

Nothing he guessed would have prepared him for what he was about to find out, though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow, thanks for all the reviews!**

Brian followed them into the apartment. Fear filled him. He hated how defeated Justin looked.

"You should sit down," Michael said softly. He frowned as he decided to obey.

"What's going on?" He asked. They glanced at each other. How do they tell Brian that Justin was being physically abused by Ethan?

Michael sighed. He decied showing was probably the best way.

"Lift up your shirt, Justin."

Justin shot a look at Michael. A look of sheer panic. Brian glanced at both of them sharply.

"What the fuck Michael?"

"It's best just to show him, Justin."

Justin swallowed. Shit...He couldn't look at Brian in the face. He lowered his head and lifted his shirt slowly.

Brian stared. He felt darkness enter him. A kind of fury he wasn't expecting. Heat gathered in his chest when he saw the bruises and cuts. His body was shaking. Anger seethed in his eyes. He was aware of the others watching nervously but all he saw were the bruises.

All he saw was the fact that someone hurt Justin.

His knuckles cracked.

"Now try and calm down, Brian," Michael began to plea but Brian interrupted him.

"Did Ethan do this to you?" He hated how Justin flinched at Ethan's name. How he refused to look at Brian. How scared he looked. "Did he?"

Justin cowered as Brian's voice rose.

"Yes.." His voice had dripped into a whisper.

Brian stood up. He had one thought in mind, to beat the shit out of Ethan.

He wanted Ethan to hurt. He wanted Ethan to suffer, to feel some of the pain he had inflicted onto Justin. And he wanted Ethan to feel fear, to taste it.

"Brian!" Justin begged as he stood up. This was what he was fearing the worst. Brian losing it and going after Ethan. Michael quickly blocked the door.

"Move aside Mikey," Brian growled in a dangerous tone.

"Hell no."Michael shot back. Brian and Michael stared each other down. "The only way you're going to get by me is by physically removing me," Michael added. He watched as he saw Brian clearly think about doing so.

"Come on Brian," Emmett pleaded. "Let's just sit down and talk-"

"Talk?" Brian shouted, causing all of them to jump. "What the fuck is there to talk about? Ethan has been fucking hitting Justin and you want to TALK about it?"

"We can make sure Ethan gets arrested-" Michael began.

"Bullshit, you saw what they did to Hobbes."

Justin closed his eyes at the truth of Brian's words.

"This way...this way I can at least gurantee that he'd have some form of punishment," Brian added. His voice was filled with so much anger that it shook.

"But then we'd lose you!" Justin suddenly shouted and Brian turned, startled by Justin's outburt.

Justin had tears roll down his face now.

"Please...Brian, don't you see? If you beat the shit out of Ethan-"_or worse kill him _"They'll lock you up...They'll take you away from me...and I can't...let Ethan win like that. I can't lose you to him...Please don't..do anything...not now." Justin was sobbing now, really sobbing. He had sank onto the nearest chair. Michael and Emmett watched with a pained expression.

Anger and fury still simmered inside of Brian, almost at a constant boiling point, but he couldn't stop staring at the look of helplessness on Justin's face. His heart gave in. He knew there was truth to what Justin was saying. That he would probably get arrested. He also knew he couldn't let Ethan get away scott free. But he had to worry about that later. Justin was on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

"I can't...I just can't," Justin continued to sob. "I can't lose you! I can't have them take you away." He started to rock back and forth, placing his chest to his knees.

"Sh..."Brian sank next to him, giving up for the moment. Michael and Emmett relaxed their tense muscles as they watched Brian wrap his arms around Justn's body.

"I can't...can't..." Justin mumbled. Most of what he was saying was lost through mumbles and sobs but Brian understood the important part.

Justin didn't want to lose Brian because of Ethan. He didn't want Ethan to get what he wanted, Brian out of the picture. For the moment he closed the lid on his anger and rocked Justin back and forth.

"It's going to be all right," he mumbled as he felt his own tears sneak out of their hiding places. "It's going to be all right."

Now if only he could believe it.

**Sorry for the shortness but the next chapter will be longer!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the great reviews! Really! They mean a LOT to me!**

Brian tried to touch Justin as he rocked back and forth. Justin jerked away. Michael shook his head at Brian.

"He won't let anyone touch him."

Brian sighed. It reminded him of the time when Justin had been bashed. Justin didn't allow anyone to touch him. It didn't mean that it didn't hurt. He placed his hand to his mouth.

"Who else knows?"

"Just...my mom," Michael said. "She walked in on us when I discovered Justin's bruises."

Brian slowly nodded, trying to put a lid on his anger. It didn't Justin was clearly on the verge of losing it.

"None of you were supposed to know," he gasped. "Especailly you, Brian..." It wasn't suppsoed to be like this.

"So what?" Michael challeneged, heated anger in him. "You were just going to hide and pretend that everything was fine? Or worse, disappear?"

Justin swallowed.

"It's my problem," he began but Brian interrupted him.

"Bullshit, you're a part of our lives now. You can't just pretend you aren't important to us. You don't think we'd notice if you just left?"

Justin trembled as Brian's voice had risen. Michael gave him a look that told him to lower it. Justin closed his eyes.

"If Ethan hurt any of you because of me...I'd never be able to forgive myself," he whispered. Brian sighed as he tried to imagine what Justin was going through. Barely recovered from the bashing he had now been subjected to an extremly abusive and poisness relationship. Brian was sure there was more to it than what Justin was telling him. He had a sickening idea on what Ethan might be capable of.

"We can take care of ourselves, Justin," Brian said quietly. "You shouldn't have to worry about that on top of everything else."

Justin swallowed and lowered his eyes to the floor, unsure of what to say. He still didn't want anyone to know. He wanted to carry his burden in silence, as punishment for hurting Brian.

"You're moving back in with me,"Brian decided. They all looked at each other and Justin's eyes shot up. Fear filled him. If he lived with Brian he knew Brian would slowly find out everything.

"No.."Justin's voice trailed off.

"Brian, are you sure? We have no problem taking him in," Michael said. Brian had already taken care of Justin once after the bashing. Michael wasn't sure if Brian would be able to do it a second time. To see Justin in constant emotional pain.

"Yes, I'm sure." Brian was angry at himself. He had let Justin go and because of that Justin had gotten hurt again. He wanted to protect Justin. Make sure no one touched a hair on the young blond's head again.

"You're going with me," Brian told Justin firmly and Justin knew better than to argue. He sagged his shoulders and nodded. Brian didn't like the look on defeat that Justin constantly wore. Didn't like that at all.

Justin finally stood up. Tears had continued to fall on his face but he remained quiet. Emmett and Mchael glanced at each other, unsure of what to say.

"You do know," Emmett said finally. "Lindsay, Melanie, Teddie and Vic will have to know now."

Justin just nodded. The poor kid looked utterly exhausted. Worse than exhausted. He looked lifeless. Like a walking corpse. Brian still couldn't get over how dead his eyes looked.

"Come on," Brian said suddenly. "And let's go. You need to get some sleep."

Another nod.

Justin turned to Michael, surprising them all.

"Thank you," he whispered. "For...helping me, even though you are pissed at me."

Michael closed his eyes.

"I'm not pissed at you Justin."How could he be with what Justin was going through.

Brian wanted nothing more then to put a protective arm around Justin but he knew it would end in protest.

He waited for Justin to be ready. Justin stood there, almost as if he was lost, for a few more minuets and finally turned.

When the door closed Emmett sank down on a chair.

"Wow..." he mumbled. "I didn't expect Brian to find out like that."

Michael folded his arms.

"Me neither.. I just hope he can help Justin."

Emmett nodded.

"So do I."

* * *

><p>Brian and Justin walked in silence. Brian noticed that Justin tried to keep as close to Brian without getting touched. Their arms almost brushed each other. Brian <em>hated <em>how timid Justin was and how he kept his head down. Each time he opened his mouth he couldn't find the right words.

There were no right words for something like this. And each time he thought of it he wanted to kill Ethan. To feel the life drain from Ethan's body. To make sure Ethan felt pain and fear. But each time he thought of that he remembered Justin's meltdown about it.

Justin needed him there, and not in jail. That would just mess Justin up more. But still, the thought of that piece of slime...that sonofabitch getting off for free, it made Brian sick to his stomach.

Brian opened the door for Justin to enter.

"You can sleep with me, if you want," Brian said softly. "You don't need to sleep on the couch."

Brian saw how Justin tensed at the thought of sleeping next to a person.

"We're broken up," Justin mumbled.

"I won't try and have sex with you, I promise," Brian tried to tease. The mention of sex brought flashes of Ethan raping him to Justin's mind. Justin shuddered. Brian felt like he had hit Justin with the expression Sunshine wore on his face. "I was just joking...I didn't mean-"

"I know," Justin said softly. He cleared his throat. "I'd rather sleep on the couch."

Brian nodded.

"Let me get you some blankets."

Justin sank onto the couch. Exhaustion filled him. He was exhausted from trying to hide, from trying to fight. Most of all he was exhausted from trying to survive.A part of him was begining to wonder if it was all worth it. It would be so much easier if he was...dead. For everyone. Then they could go on living their lives and not have to worry about him. That awful thought was starting to fill his head like poison. He pushed it away. It scared him to feel those feelings. To have that type of side to him.

Brian handed him the blankets. He took it slowly.

"Thank you," he mumbled.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't want you to get cold."

"No...I mean thank you...for everything...for this."

Brian nodded.

"You're welcome."

Justin felt Brian still standing there. He tensed when Brian sank down next to him. Was he going to touch him? Thankfully Brian didn't.

"Justin...what happened to you...it's not your fault, you know that right?"

Justin was stunned.

How did Brian know? No one was supposed to know that.

"You didn't ask for it Justin...No matter what Ethan might have told you know one deserves to get hit."

"How...did you know that was what I was thinking?" Justin managed to slowly ask.

He heard Brian give a soft laugh.

"Because I know you very well."

Justin couldn't respond.

"It's not your fault-"

"I pushed him, aggrevated him. I mentioned you too much-"

Anger filled Brian at the thought of Justin defending that fucking sonfoabitch and he interrupted Justin quickly.

"It's not your fault."

"You don't know what the FUCK you're talking about so just back the fuck off, okay?"

"It's not your fault," Brian repeated firmly. "Not your fault."

"YES it fucking is! Don't you get it!" Justin suddenly shouted. He was so sick of pretending. Of trying to hide it. "I cheated on you! After everything you did for me I cheated on you and broke up with you! I fucking deserved everything I got!"

Brian was stunned and angry when he heard this. Justin thought he deserved it? Because of what he did to Brian? Brian felt sick. he wanted to throw up. He also felt like shaking Justin. He had to calm down. Slowly he took deep breaths. He hated all of this. He wasn't sure what he was doing. He felt like the blind leading the blind, but he had to do something and the not your fault line was getting to Justin. Good. That's what Brian wanted, to got to bed knowing for a fact Justin didn't blame himself. He had heard it wasn't unsual for victims to blame themselves for the attack.

"Justin I never want to hear that again. And I never want you to thinnk that...EVER again. Ethan is a fucking monster. He's evil...NO one asks for this and you DIDN'T deserve it. I understood why you went with Ethan. You don't OWE me anything. I want you to understand that." Brian stood up and looked down at Justin's scared and timid face. "This is NOT your fault, do you hear me? NOT your fault."

Justin swallowed. He heard him but he didn't believe him.

"NOT your fault."

Christ will Brian quit fucking saying that?

"It's not your fualt."

Doesn't matter what Brian says it fucking IS his fault and he fucking knows it. He deserved every slap, and every rape... He deserved to be punished for hurting Brian. But Brian wouldn't fucking leave it alone.

"NOT your fault."

Brian wasn't going stop it was he?

His shoulders shook as sobs errupted.

"STOP it!" He suddenly screamed. "STOP saying that!"

"Not until you say it yourself!" Brian shot back. "Not until you say it."

"No," Justin mumbled. "No fucking way."

"It's NOT your fault," Brian said sternly. This time he did place his hand on Justin's shoulder. "It's not your fault." The words were simple and Brian said it in a simple factual tone. But why did it hurt so much to hear them? "Say it," Brian begged. "Say it for me, please...say it."

Exhaustion swept in. He was tired of fighting it. He wasn't sure if he fully believed it but he was tired of it. Tired of everything.

Finally he caved.

"It's..."He stopped. It took him a long time to finish the sentence. A sentence that still confused him. "It's not my fault," he finally whispered. It amazed him how spell breaking those words were. It was like some of the darkness had been lifted from him. A part of him felt relief for finally being able to say it out loud. "It's not my fault," he repeated and finally broke down into sobs. Brian gathered him into a tight hug and kissed him on the lips. He didn't jerk away. He continued to sob onto Brian's shoulder and Brian slowly held him until the sun rose and a new day began.


End file.
